FedEx Officially Sucks

So this happened again. I bought stuff online, and I wanted it quick. The only delivery option was with FedEx. A week later, I got worried and tracked the package. There it was, supposedly delivered twice, total bullshit. Sure I wasn't home! But there was no tag on the door whatsoever. So I couldn't leave a note to the delivery person, nor did I know this was already the time to start calling the bastards.

You see, this is the fourth time I am "getting" stuff with FedEx in the past three years of so, in fact to two different addresses. Each time the same story happens. After a while, a ghost courier appears at my door and makes a note of attempted delivery, but "forgets" to slap on the sticker. Nobody gets to see the event, just the online notification. Mind you, they don't send any emails, you have to remember to go check it yourself. If I am too late, I have to go to this place in the far suburbs. If I catch it early enough, I can be spared the two hour trip. I call their helpline and talk to some Indian half a globe away. These folks have absolutely no clue how the whole system works, and will never release you your local station's phone numbers. If you are good at explaining, they will tell you some address and let you go pick your package. This last time, after a while of telling same old story, I was asked the door tag number. They just don't get it.

In fact, I had never had this sort of trouble with any other carrier, be it UPS or the Postal Service. Neither did I have trouble when ordering with FedEx to my work. So the only conclusion I can make is they are cheating, simply letting simple folks down and paying attention to large customers. These assholes should call themselves Little-Joe-Can-Pick-His-Shit-Himself, not a delivery service. So from now on it is my complete boycott of FedEx, whenever possible.

This just in:
FedEx drivers pass their worktime smoking dope under bridges.

Storm in the glass

Lindsay Lohan has been arrested again. Chasing, crashing other cars, completely wasted and with drugs. She says she is not guilty, apparently because it does not count if you can't remember. She also says she did not drink, but she is saying this after checking out of a rehab. Diagnosis seems rather easy, the chick is spoiled to the bone, sorta in the Paris league. These are celebrities, it appears OK to take their pictures when they clumsily fall down or show them without their underwear, but somehow it is not OK for the media to perhaps say these are spoiled little cunts with not much of a personality beyond their screenplays and perhaps we should all take some learning. How would that be more obscene then showing Britney's motherly twat? Perhaps neither reporters nor the audience for this kind of stories think in these kind of categories, or even has a clue. Now that's a problem, because you see the stories are on the frontline CNN coverage.

YouTube is Growing

Is it just me or the YouTube folks are getting quite advanced? That or the advanced folks are jumping in. Anyways, things are not just cut and paste anymore, but they are still very funny.

Come Here My Son

California's were the real party is, and now some are getting the bill. LA catholic church will pay half a billion dollars to settle child abuse claims, bringing the total payments to two billion dollars in the past fifty years.

Now when I see this sort of money I cannot help but reach for my little imaginary calculator. Google shows there are about fifty thousand catholic clergy in the USA, a number that didn't change much in the past fifty years. That means at twenty bucks a pop, each one of those fifty thousand men could have it every single week for the past fifty years. Whatever that twenty bucks thing is, that is.

In fact, they could have invested the money. If they did, they could have had it every other day, and still keep the money. Now that's the power of compound interest. So if you are ever to start a child abusing organization, crunch some numbers beforehand.

Half a billion is an enormous number, and you'd think now that their image is damaged anyways, they would fight as much as they can for the money. How come they keep losing in courts? I understand it that the vast majority of evidence are just words from the victims themselves, but they keep losing. Does this mean there's some much more raunchy evidence everyone would love to know? Or something is wrong with the court system as well?

Animal Planet

Here's another excursion into the animal kingdom, weird animals department. It looks distinctly phallic, breathes up its ass, and can literary puke its insides out, then grow new ones. It goes by the name of sea cucumber and I wish more weird things like this were taught about in my schooldays.

They Are A-Changing

There's lots of hype about internet and wild visions about its future that just aren't really gonna happen. Same thing happens with all sorts of technologies. First vaccines brought hopes that all the disease will be gone real soon, flight to the Moon - that we'll soon inhabit other planets etc. In fact thinking what's really feasible is quite an exercise. So I usually just take all such bs quite easy. But just for today I am on the dreamers side. Think of something wild and a little weird, but no porn. Say, a cat that loves to swim and play in water. Then type "swimming cat" into google's video search, and vuala there it is. Isn't how I found this, but quite impressive nonetheless. Now I will go and do something usefull.

Don't make the angry men angry

Now I know why Dick Cheney is such an angry man after all.
It occurred to me he must be banned from most places online with a nick like that!

Ha ha

So much for the prison fashion.



Can't help but notice that this would never be possible with a centralized government. Think of all the antipink protests breaking out.

27

Well, it had to happen one day, didn't it. In fact, twenty seven doesn't feel bad at all. Twenty five and six were really bad. You know, quarter life crisis, or whatever, you name it. 26 was actually much worse then 25, cuz 25 kinda looks round and not too late and 26 means you are past 25 and things just got worse anyways. So fuck 26. I actually am really happy about my birthday, though it really did seem a one way street the last couple times. So great. I also lost my house key.

Britain Under Siege

And their new prime minister will not yield to the cowards! How fucking original. These people need a reality check. And the last thing that Brits need is yet another war-waging PM. True, attacks may actually be linked to Gordon Braun becoming the new PM just a few days ago, but then again I am having this enormous deja vu thingy.